I am a Caveman !

Don’s Diary (I’m a Caveman !)

After a recent Don’s Diary submission, our Editor said that if he interviewed me he would ask what I thought was the meaning and purpose of life. Here it is.

I think that I have strong caveman instincts and these underlie my motivations and actions: I think at heart I am a caveman. When the cavemen and cavewoman stand nude, simply adorned in ochre they will see that they are built the same: they all have the same body functions and similar motivations and hunger. As we say, we are all sprung from the same stock, sharers of the same hopes.

Cavemen like me place the highest priority on having a mate who he can love and protect, who can bear, nurture and develop his successors because it is the succession of the race, particularly the succession of his family that is of principal importance to him. His mate should be able to do everything that he can do because he could be injured in the hunt or as a warrior and she could be widowed. But she must be more than that: she must be absolutely trustworthy as there could be long absences from the cave, she must be a good forager and make the cave a home. She must share your hopes with you and be a role model for the next generation of child bearers. The cave does not have to be flash – just warm and comfortable. She must understand him when he is physically exhausted while she may have had a less stressful but tedious day. She must cherish him but put children first.

A caveman must instinctively recognise who he can trust because if he is injured in the hunt or wounded in battle he will need protection and assistance: the few who can endure the heat of battle and the rigors of the hunt. He will not want his intentions and capabilities betrayed or somebody deciding to change sides. He will know that to enjoy respect from others he must pull his weight in the hunt, in the security of this family and his hunting territory, have integrity and be pleasant. He cannot be told who to trust and like as the “progressives” in today’s society think that they can do it by legislation. He will not accept the thought police of politically correctness telling him how to think and talk. He will teach his sons his providing skills and be a masculine role model.

In his subsistence life he will want to share the results of a successful hunt with his close and extended family. It will include those who neither participated in the hunt nor assisted in the foraging; the aged and infirm will be welcomed but those who are just lazy, greedy, have self inflicted medical conditions or take their afflictions too seriously will only just be accepted. This acceptance will become very thin in time and eventually you will accept that they need to just walk out into the dark and cold. In times of famine he will give a priority to supporting his mate, his young successors who cannot provide for themselves and those that can breed. There is no place for alternative lifestyles in his cave.

He will not accept people invading his cave, stealing his firewood, using his traps or taking over his hunting grounds any more than those today who believe that we should not have porous European style national borders. Nor people “looking over the fence” and deciding that they have an entitlement to strip the tree that you planted outside your cave, that your cultivated creek flat is better that theirs that they have neglected, and use your traps and nets because they have never made them. He must live within his subsistence means from his success as a hunter, his mate’s foraging, team building and self imposed austerity. He will not welcome somebody else trying to take some of his winter provisions for his family and giving it away. None of these things contribute to his ambition of succession.

For him his basic priories will be his mate, the achievers and breeders in his family, and his young successors. His life is all about succession and I suspect self respect.

OK, call me a dinosaur from Generation D.

Yours fraternally,

Don Paterson