Don’s Diary
(Happiness)
At the forthcoming Installation of our
new Worshipful Master we will be charged once again to be happy and to
communicate happiness to others. It is
instructive to ponder for a moment as to what sort of happiness is
contemplated. We are told that happiness
is a mental state of wellbeing of positive and pleasant emotions ranging from
contentment through to intense joy. It
does not seem to have much to do with how much money someone has beyond
survival needs. Happiness is more than
just not being unhappy.
We have all met people, and
regrettably I have known more than a few of them in Freemasonry, who are
happily full of smug self-satisfaction: fortunately there are none in Lodge
Devotion. I find this sort of happiness
quite abhorrent in any society, particularly in Freemasonry. Then we have those that think their “hail
fellow, well met” persona demonstrates a genuine happiness: it invariably just
looks shallow. There are those that are
polite enough but aloof and superior showing not the slightest interest in the
people that they are meeting. (I met a
local Federal member and future Prime Minister once at Holdsworthy, NSW at a
function to welcome our soldiers back from Vietnam. Standing head and shoulders above us he
showed not the slightest interest in the soldiers but spent the night looking
around the room, looking over the soldier’s heads, for someone more important to
talk to.) There are those that laugh at
their own jokes, those that so patronise that most people from our Australian
culture will find them obnoxious: it might work elsewhere. None of these forms of “happiness” meet the
requirements that I envisage in the charge.
One needs to be happy in an acceptable
way before it can be communicated to others.
Those that seem to the happiest seem to be content within themselves,
satisfied that they have behaved properly in their dealings with others
particularly with those nearest and dearest to them, and “can look at
themselves in a mirror”. They will have
learned that there is usually more happiness to be derived from doing things
for others than satisfying their own whims.
Happiness occurs from the resultant reciprocity, group admiration and
self esteem.
In communicating happiness you must
know how to “engage” –how to approach, make contact physically and especially
with eye contact: this sends a message about integrity, ego, openness, honesty
and approachability. It is easy to read
and relies on our primitive instincts to determine personal safety and
trust.
Having successfully “engaged”, with a
smile, a comment, ears open and mouth constrained, take a positive interest in
the other party. No superficially. Be yourself and if you have learned to be
really happy it will be easy to communicate that message. Happiness is “infectious”. In communications, however, it is more what
you do than what you say. Talk and
unfulfilled comments on your position are cheap and will not lead to, or
communicate happiness.
Yours fraternally,
Don